


How to Steal a Holosuite

by NervousAsexual



Series: Odo Writes a Holonovel [3]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Odo writes a holonovel, casually destroying capitalism, teetering dangerously on the edge of canon compliance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-23 17:51:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10724244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NervousAsexual/pseuds/NervousAsexual
Summary: Having heard rumors of a sincere and possibly scandalous new holonovel, Kira schemes to commandeer a holosuite of her own.





	How to Steal a Holosuite

Kira would never--never--pay Quark to use a holosuite.

In fact, as a rule she tried not to pay Quark for anything. Information? She could blackmail it out of him. Drinks? That was what men were for. Holosuites?

Well, to be honest she'd never needed to get a holosuite from him before. She didn't use holosuites, at least not like the Federation crew did. It seemed like a bad idea to go spend time in an imaginary setting when the actual setting you lived in was constantly teetering on the edge of war.

But she had to admit, what she had heard about the new holonovel sensation sweeping the station (at least, that was how Quark marketed it) had her intrigued. Odo, the grumpy old man of the crew, who used holosuites even less than she did, writing a holonovel? A holonovel that even Jadzia refused to spoil. And for the trill whose new favorite hobby was summing up for Julian the Cardassian literature Garak gave him to read, that was quite an accomplishment.

But still, Quark's holosuites were a luxury few could afford. She was not going to pay for one by the hour.

So, instead, she went to the top level of the Promenade, made sure Odo was busy chasing Jake and Nog two levels below her, and silently slipped into the conduit crawlspace.

She slipped through the crawlspace, just like old times, like she was going to go stab a traitorous chemist in his own home and celebrate by not getting executed by the Cardassian government.

It was all very exciting, even though she knew Quark wouldn't have her executed for borrowing a holosuite.

Well, knew was a strong word. There was probably a Rule of Acquisition to be learned in there somewhere.

She crawled around in there for a bit before she decided she was probably over one of the holosuites. She pressed her ear up against the ground and listened. Off-hand she heard no signs of life.

Working quickly she wriggled her way into the life support conduit and pushed out the cover. Poking her head out into the open air, she ran a steely gaze over the still, silent holosuite. All seemed to be as it should. The holosuite was empty.

This was kind of fun, said a voice in her head, as she squeezed out of the conduit and dropped gently to the floor. 

Fun? Well, yes, it was, and that surprised her. It had been a long time since she'd had what you'd call fun. She'd certainly had her share of adventure, and of course she had moments that weren't always unhappy, but fun wasn't even on her radar during the occupation. Just like holosuites, fun was a luxury. 

And yet, here she was.

She sat down facing the entrance to the holosuite. There was a very strong chance that Quark's money senses would tingle as soon as she turned the program on. She could picture him now, huddled over his piles of latinum, building little castles out of them (he thought nobody had seen him; he thought wrong). Then, suddenly, he would stop! His ears would twitch! He would gaze wildly around the bar! He would rush to the holosuites and find that one had been stolen, and then he would get Morn to break down the door. Or maybe not. Maybe he would just complain to Odo. Either way, she wanted a clear path and a speedy exit.

"Computer," she said. It beeped in acknowledgement. "Run program Odo Holonovel v1.2."

She tried not to get her hopes up as the holosuite began to hum. She didn't know much about it, apart from what Jadzia had told her--it was very short, Odo had written it, and it was sweeter than jumja sticks. That alone would have driven her off--Odo? sweet? That sounded like a train wreck in the making--but she had heard Julian and Garak bickering about it on the Promenade a while back. Something about bustiers. She didn't know for sure what a bustier was, but it sounded sketchy and she was intrigued.

She looked around at the empty holosuite, but now it wasn't so empty. In the middle of the floor, his back to the holosuite door, sat Odo. He looked back at her.

"This is it?" she asked, trying not to sound too disappointed.

Odo raised his approximation of an eyebrow. "'This' is a highly complicated program created in a significantly altered transporter technology, which is itself infinitely complex program that humans did not develop until well within the 22nd century. I would hardly call 'this' 'it'."

"I'm sure whatever you just said was very informative," Kira said. "But what do you... do?"

"I do what I was designed to do. I offer support."

Kira frowned. "Is... is that where bustiers come into it? Because I'm still not sure what those are."

"Emotional support," holo-Odo clarified. "I cannot offer advice due to the natural limitations of the program, but I can offer emotional validation to whomever needs it."

That sounded suspiciously... squishy, for lack of a better term. "And  _Odo_ wrote this program?"

Holo-Odo nodded sharply.

"What kind of emotional validation does Odo come up with? 'You haven't smuggled guns to the demilitarized zone, well done.' 'You did not run on the Promenade today, you get a gold star.'"

"You are learning to trust," Odo said. "That is a very brave thing to do."

"'You didn't vaporize Quark when he tried to seduce you with watered-down synthale'... beg your pardon?"

"You are learning to trust," Odo repeated. "This doesn't come easy to you, given all that you have been through. But you are learning to trust the other officers on the station. They are very lucky to have you."

"Um..."

"And I, for one, am very proud of you." Holo-Odo leaned toward her and folded his arms on his knees.

She sat on the floor for a minute, trying to figure out what all this meant.

"Tell me something," she said at last. "Do you remember what people tell you after you're powered down?"

"I am meant to reference only one use of the program at a time. I do not store information from one instance to the next."

"Okay. Good." She nodded. "So if I ask you something you won't remember it the next time some one uses you."

"That is correct."

"Okay. Then I want to ask you something."

Holo-Odo waited patiently.

"Do you think... do you think I could get a hug?"

"I don't see why not," he replied.

And so they hugged.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, the relevant TrekPositive post can be found [here](https://trekpositive.tumblr.com/post/159542196179/if-you-feel-like-youre-a-burden-to-your-team-or).


End file.
